Karen Rainier

Web Drop-in #2

7/2/09

Showing NOT telling:

How Good Writers Describe

Essential Question:

How do good writers use words to create a picture in the reader’s mind?

Today we are going to use resources from the internet to help us find out how good writers describe things. Good writers use words to make a picture or even a movie in the mind of the reader by using dazzling details, excellent adjectives, strong verbs and the five senses.

· We know that good readers visualize to help understand the story…but guess what? Good writers visualize, too! Good writers visualize (make a picture or movie in their mind) to help think about what something looks, feels, smells, sounds and even tastes like in order to decide how to tell about it. That’s using your five senses!

· Before we go off exploring, let’s close our eyes and visualize this:

You are out in your front yard during a hail storm.

Think for a moment…

what do you see?

what do you hear?

what do you feel?

what do you smell?

what do you taste?

· Let’s share our ideas. Turn and talk to a partner about what you are visualizing.

· Now, we are going to read an example of what someone else wrote to describe the hail storm:

The Hail Storm

One day I was in my yard and it started hailing. My mom told

me to get our dogs. My dad put the car in the garage. It hailed for

a few minutes. Lots of stuff got broken. Then the hail stopped.

· What do you think about that author’s writing? Did they show using dazzling details or just tell? Did the author use their five senses? Did it help you make a picture or movie in your mind? Why or why not? Think for a moment then we will share.

· You are right! That author just told us about it, they didn’t describe it with excellent adjectives or verbs and they didn’t use all of their senses to help us visualize! Now, when you click on the link below, we will be going to a website that will give us an example of another author who wrote about being in a hail storm.

Click here: Writing Fun- Descriptive Writing

· Next, click on the orange word on the webpage that says Description (on the right side of the page)

· On the bottom of the page it says: Examples Click on example 4 in the circle.

· Let’s read this example. What do you think? Which piece of writing was better? Why? How did this author show us and help us (the readers) visualize?

· Move your mouse over the tips on the right to see how this writer used each tip tp make his or her story so descriptive.

Next we will read what makes a good descriptive paragraph:

· Click on the orange word printed sideways on the right side of the page that says MENU

· Click again on the word that says description. Read the information that is presented on this page.

· Let’s discuss: what specific things to we want to include in our writing to show not tell, and help the reader visualize?

Now it’s your turn! Click on the button on the bottom right of the webpage with a bee next to it.

It looks like this: WRITE ONLINE

· Look at the photos below. Some of these animals are beautiful, some are funny-looking, and some are scary or dangerous. Choose your favorite.

Pretend that you are at the Baltimore Zoo. The Zookeeper let’s you go into the animal’s area and lets you feed the animal. You are able to safely get very, very close to the animal.

· Tell about your experience. Follow the steps to write descriptively.

· Remember, good writers show their readers. To help readers visualize, you must include:

ü Dazzling details

ü Excellent adjectives

ü Strong verbs

ü Your five senses (although it might be hard to use your sense of taste for this assignment)

JGood Luck, Good Writers!!!! J

PS-----When you are finished, you need to print and turn in your dazzling writing!
To do this, click the Print Button on the bottom left of the page.

It will look like this: PRINT