Monday, October 31 2005

10:55am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 70.3 %, Average: 84.2 %
10:55am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.3 %, Average: 16.8 %

QOTD:
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Friday, October 28 2005

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 73.0 %, Average: 65.5 %
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.1 %, Average: 11.7 %

QOTD:
Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?

Thursday, October 27 2005

9:30am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 79.1 %, Average: 66.9 %
9:30am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.0 %, Average: 12.3 %

QOTD:
The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

Wednesday, October 26 2005

11:45am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 84.5 %, Average: 70.0 %
11:45am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 19.3 %, Average: 12.5 %

QOTD:
I think we're in trouble.

Tuesday, October 25 2005

9:50am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 67.8 %, Average: 66.8 %
9:50am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 18.4 %, Average: 12.7 %

QOTD:
Slow day. Practice crawling.

Monday, October 24 2005

9:25am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 72.5 %, Average: 59.8 %
9:25am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.2 %, Average: 10.5 %

QOTD:
Performance:

A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working over in Jersey about a month ago.

Friday, October 21 2005

3:35pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 86.8 %, Average: 69.3 %
3:35pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.6 %, Average: 13.4 %

QOTD:
Epperson's law:

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Thursday, October 20 2005

12:45pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.7 %, Average: 66.1 %
12:45pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.5 %, Average: 13.5 %

QOTD:
The Greatest Mathematical Error

The Mariner I space probe was launched from Cape Canaveral on 28 July 1962 towards Venus. After 13 minutes' flight a booster engine would give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells would unfold; after 80 days a computer would calculate the final course corrections and after 100 days the craft would circle the unknown planet, scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.

However, with an efficiency that is truly heartening, Mariner I plunged into the Atlantic Ocean only four minutes after takeoff.

Inquiries later revealed that a minus sign had been omitted from the instructions fed into the computer. "It was human error", a launch spokesman said.

This minus sign cost L4,280,000.

Wednesday, October 19 2005

5:20pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 86.5 %, Average: 73.0 %
5:20pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 18.9 %, Average: 13.5 %

QOTD:
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]

Tuesday, October 18 2005

5:00pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 91.9 %, Average: 56.2 %
5:00pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 12.8 %, Average: 9.7 %

QOTD:
Being asked solicitously about the state of her health was becoming bothersome to the pregnant woman at the cocktail party. And yet another guest went over and inquired, "Well, how are you feeling these days?"

"Not too well," said the expectant mother. "You know, I've missed seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."

Monday, October 17 2005

9:55am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 43.8 %, Average: 29.8 %
9:55am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 6.2 %, Average: 6.1 %

QOTD:
Remember Darwin; building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice.

Friday, October 14 2005

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.7 %, Average: 69.2 %
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.2 %, Average: 11.7 %

QOTD:
Thinking you know something is a sure way to blind yourself.

Thursday, October 13 2005

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 54.0 %, Average: 70.7 %
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.6 %, Average: 12.2 %

QOTD:
Onward through the fog.

Wednesday, October 12 2005

9:35am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.7 %, Average: 69.4 %
9:35am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.0 %, Average: 12.3 %

REMINDER: Today is the day Windows systems everywhere try to update their operating systems over the Internet. Hang in there... it only happens once a month.

QOTD:
My mind is making ashtrays in Dayton ...

Tuesday, October 11 2005

9:35am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 84.6 %, Average: 69.2 %
9:35am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.7 %, Average: 12.4 %

QOTD:
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.

Monday, October 10 2005

11:30am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 87.7 %, Average: 68.4 %
11:30am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 16.9 %, Average: 13.6 %

QOTD:
Air is water with holes in it.

Friday, October 7 2005

12:20pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 79.0 %, Average: 65.1 %
12:20pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.7 %, Average: 12.4 %

QOTD:
Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:

(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)
(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
(5) Over the back of a silver spoon, float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract.
(6) Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve.
(7) Sprinkle Zamphuor.
(8) Add an olive.
(9) Drink... but... very carefully...

Thursday, October 6 2005

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 78.7 %, Average: 67.6 %
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.5 %, Average: 12.9 %

Garden Apartments Building 3 experienced an outage yesterday evening due to a power switch being inadvertently turned off. Our invaluable students saved the day when an esteemed member of the IT student posse found the switch and turned it back on! Thanks - we truly appreciate you!

QOTD:
Buck-passing usually turns out to be a boomerang.

Wednesday, October 5 2005

9:45am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 78.7 %, Average: 64.6 %
9:45am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.2 %, Average: 12.9 %

QOTD:
We have phasers, I vote we blast 'em!

Tuesday, October 4 2005

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 87.7 %, Average: 63.3 %
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.1 %, Average: 12.3 %

QOTD:

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"

Monday, October 3 2005

10:25am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 87.8 %, Average: 57.6 %
10:25am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 17.2 %, Average: 11.0 %

QOTD:
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for you.