NOTE: Since the editor of this page will be on vacation for the next two business days, look for network status blurbs to resume on Monday, Dec 5th.

Wednesday, November 30 2005

3:25pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 91.7 %, Average: 76.4 %
3:25pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 28.9 %, Average: 15.7 %

QOTD:
Pandora's Rule:

Never open a box you didn't close.

Tuesday, November 29 2005

12:25pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.6 %, Average: 74.3 %
12:25pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 26.3 %, Average: 15.3 %

QOTD:
Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Monday, November 28 2005

1:55pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 87.2 %, Average: 53.4 %
1:55pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 24.5 %, Average: 13.1 %

QOTD:
Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Thursday, November 24 2005

Have a great Holiday Weekend!
Updates will resume on Monday, November 28.

Wednesday, November 23 2005

3:10pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 38.3 %, Average: 49.7 %
3:10pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 8.7 %, Average: 6.4 %

QOTD:
Beam me up, Scotty! It ate my phaser!

Tuesday, November 22 2005

12:35pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.3 %, Average: 72.1 %
12:35pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.5 %, Average: 14.3 %

QOTD:
A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science - "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons.

Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days.

Governmentium has a normal half life of three years. It doesn't decay but "reorganizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow and in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.

This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration forming critical morass. Researches believe that in Governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass you cover.

Monday, November 21 2005

11:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 90.8 %, Average: 72.1 %
11:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 16.9 %, Average: 29.5 %

QOTD:
EARL GREY PROFILES

NAME: Jean-Luc Perriwinkle Picard
OCCUPATION: Starship Big Cheese
AGE: 94
BIRTHPLACE: Paris, Terra Sector
EYES: Grey
SKIN: Tanned
HAIR: Not much
LAST MAGAZINE READ: Lobes 'n' Probes, the Ferengi-Betazoid Sex Quarterly
TEA: Earl Grey. Hot.

EARL GREY NEVER VARIES.

Friday, November 18 2005

9:40am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 65.4 %, Average: 69.3 %
9:40am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.5 %, Average: 12.5 %

QOTD:
Recursion n.:

See Recursion.

Thursday, November 17 2005

11:45am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 83.2 %, Average: 70.9 %
11:45am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.5 %, Average: 13.6 %

QOTD:
Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Wednesday, November 16 2005

12:05pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 84.9 %, Average: 71.8 %
12:05pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 17.4 %, Average: 13.4 %

QOTD:
Two heads are more numerous than one.

Tuesday, November 15 2005

10:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 88.0 %, Average: 69.0 %
10:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.1 %, Average: 13.7 %

QOTD:
Two men were sitting over coffee, contemplating the nature of things, with all due respect for their breakfast. "I wonder why it is that toast always falls on the buttered side," said one.

"Tell me," replied his friend, "why you say such a thing. Look at this." And he dropped his toast on the floor, where it landed on the dry side.

"So, what have you to say for your theory now?"

"What am I to say? You obviously buttered the wrong side."

Monday, November 14 2005

11:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 84.9 %, Average: 51.1 %
11:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.9 %, Average: 11.3 %

QOTD:

"Sheriff, we gotta catch Black Bart."
"Oh, yeah? What's he look like?"
"Well, he's wearin' a paper hat, a paper shirt, paper pants and paper boots."
"What's he wanted for?"
"Rustling."

Friday, November 11 2005

9:40am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 83.8 %, Average: 68.8 %
9:40am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.4 %, Average: 12.7 %

QOTD:
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Wednesday, November 9 2005

10:40am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 83.0 %, Average: 76.3 %
10:40am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 16.8 %, Average: 14.2 %

QOTD:
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Tuesday, November 8 2005

4:15pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.9 %, Average: 79.7 %
4:15pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 18.7 %, Average: 16.5 %

QOTD:
And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?

Monday, November 7 2005

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 83.6 %, Average: 69.0 %
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.1 %, Average: 11.8 %

QOTD:
You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Friday, November 4 2005

12:50pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 84.8 %, Average: 73.6 %
12:50pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 20.1 %, Average: 14.2 %

QOTD:
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Tuesday, November 1 2005

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.8 %, Average: 61.7 %
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 17.9 %, Average: 15.9 %

QOTD:
"I used to jog, but the ice kept bouncing out of my glass."