Monday, October 31 2006

4:35pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.1%, Average: 78.3%
4:35pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 20.5%, Average: 13.5%

QOTD:
Brain fried -- Core dumped

Monday, October 30 2006

9:35am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 63.3%, Average: 63.4%
9:35am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 18.3%, Average: 12.6%

QOTD:
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Friday, October 27 2006

3:50pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.6%, Average: 75.9%
3:50pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.4%, Average: 14.4%

QOTD:
Recursion n.:

See Recursion.

Thursday, October 26 2006

10:55am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 88.4%, Average: 69.9%
10:55am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.9%, Average: 12.1%

QOTD:
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Wednesday, October 25 2006

12:55pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 92.0%, Average: 67.7%
12:55pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 12.5%, Average: 11.9%

QOTD:
I knew Leo G. Carrol
Was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills. ("Lick it!")
And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.

Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night, double feature, picture show.

Tuesday, October 24 2006

9:55am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 73.7%, Average: 64.0%
9:55am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 10.1%, Average: 10.9%

QOTD:
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Monday, October 23 2006

1:05pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 92.1%, Average: 63.6%
1:05pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 12.0%, Average: 13.5%

QOTD:
Two wrights don't make a rong, they make an airplane. Or bicycles.

Friday, October 20 2006

9:40am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 58.9%, Average: 69.1%
9:40am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.3%, Average: 13.5%

QOTD:
A circus foreman was making the rounds inspecting the big top when a scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him. "Are you the foreman around here?" he asked timidly. "I'd like to join your circus; I have what I think is a pretty good act."

The foreman nodded assent, whereupon the little man hurried over to the main pole and rapidly climbed up to the very tip-top of the big top. Drawing a deep breath, he hurled himself off into the air and began flapping his arms furiously. Amazingly, rather than plummeting to his death the little man began to fly all around the poles, lines, trapezes and other obstacles, performing astounding feats of aerobatics which ended in a long power dive from the top of the tent, pulling up into a gentle feet-first landing beside the foreman, who had been nonchalantly watching the whole time.

"Well," puffed the little man. "What do you think?"

"That's all you do?" answered the foreman scornfully. "Bird imitations?"

Thursday, October 19 2006

3:55pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 90.2%, Average: 75.7%
3:55pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.9%, Average: 14.6%

QOTD:
Thufir's a Harkonnen now.

Wednesday, October 18 2006

9:55am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 54.2%, Average: 57.9%
9:55am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 22.1%, Average: 12.5%

QOTD:
The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer.

Tuesday, October 17 2006

12:05pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 52.0%, Average: 42.4%
12:05pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.3%, Average: 11.4%

QOTD:
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

Monday, October 16 2006

2:40pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 54.9%, Average: 42.4%
2:40pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.3%, Average: 14.4%

QOTD:
All new:

Parts not interchangeable with previous model.

Friday, October 13 2006

9:45am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 98.7%, Average: 65.8%
9:45am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 13.7%, Average: 11.6%

QOTD:
So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it into a dumpster. Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast array of 8-millimeter video equipment.

... OK! Got everything? Well, *too bad, sucker*, because while you were gone the electronics industry came up with an even newer format that makes your 8-millimeter VCR look as technologically advanced as toenail dirt. This format is called "3.5 hectare" and it will not be made available until it is outmoded, sometime early next week, by a format called "Elroy", so *order yours now*.

Thursday, October 12 2006

11:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 90.7%, Average: 69.7%
11:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.2%, Average: 12.0%

QOTD:
Police: Good evening, are you the host?

Host: No.

Police: We've been getting complaints about this party.

Host: About the drugs?

Police: No.

Host: About the guns, then? Is somebody complaining about the guns?

Police: No, the noise.

Host: Oh, the noise. Well that makes sense because there are no guns or drugs here. (An enormous explosion is heard in the background.) Or fireworks. Who's complaining about the noise? The neighbors?

Police: No, the neighbors fled inland hours ago. Most of the recent complaints have come from Pittsburgh. Do you think you could ask the host to quiet things down?

Host: No Problem. (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive religious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living room and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the lawn, where it smashes into a tree. Eight guests tumble out onto the grass, moaning.) See? Things are starting to wind down.

Wednesday, October 11 2006

10:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.7%, Average: 71.5%
10:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 8.7%, Average: 12.6%

QOTD:
Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.

Tuesday, October 10 2006

10:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 86.5%, Average: 72.4%
10:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 12.0%, Average: 11.6%

QOTD:
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

Monday, October 9 2006

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 85.5%, Average: 63.4%
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 11.0%, Average: 9.6%

QOTD:
Poorman's Rule:

When you pull a plastic garbage bag from its handy dispenser package, you always get hold of the closed end and try to pull it open.

Friday, October 6 2006

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 68.4%, Average: 66.3%
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 10.6%, Average: 12.1%

QOTD:
Hello. Just walk along and try NOT to think about your INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!

Thursday, October 5 2006

9:35am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 89.1%, Average: 72.1%
9:35am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 14.3%, Average: 11.1%

QOTD:
The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career.

Wednesday, October 4 2006

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 78.1%, Average: 73.2%
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 10.8%, Average: 10.2%

QOTD:
No pig should go sky diving during monsoon
For this isn't really the norm.
But should a fat swine try to soar like a loon,
So what? Any pork in a storm.

No pig should go sky diving during monsoon,
It's risky enough when the weather is fine.
But to have a pig soar when the monsoon doth roar
Cast even more perils before swine.

Tuesday, October 3 2006

4:00pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 92.0%, Average: 78.6%
4:00pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.0%, Average: 12.2%

QOTD:
Committee Rules:

(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
(2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

Monday, October 2 2006

9:50am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 59.4%, Average: 64.2%
9:50am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 8.5%, Average: 9.3%

QOTD:
Q: What is a compact city?
A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted policemen!