Friday, June 30 2006

1:40pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 20.6%, Average: 13.1%
1:40pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.8%, Average: 3.7%

QOTD:
I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Thursday, June 29 2006

1:30pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 42.2%, Average: 15.2%
1:30pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 7.8%, Average: 4.1%

QOTD:
The real reason large families benefit society is because at least a few of the children in the world shouldn't be raised by beginners.

Wednesday, June 28 2006

1:05pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 49.7%, Average: 14.7%
1:05pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 9.2%, Average: 4.6%

QOTD:
667:

The neighbor of the beast.

Tuesday, June 27 2006

1:10pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 56.0%, Average: 14.8%
1:10pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 7.2%, Average: 5.1%

QOTD:
You might have mail.

Monday, June 26 2006

10:15am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 23.9%, Average: 5.0%
10:15am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 8.9%, Average: 3.8%

QOTD:
A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

Friday, June 23 2006

9:40am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 14.8%, Average: 12.2%
9:40am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.7%, Average: 3.8%

QOTD:
Molecule, n.:

The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion ...

Thursday, June 22 2006

10:00am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 29.4%, Average: 14.6%
10:00am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.0%, Average: 4.2%

QOTD:
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.

Wednesday, June 21 2006

10:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 28.6%, Average: 13.5%
10:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 5.8%, Average: 3.8%

QOTD:
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #2

If at first you don't succeed, think how many people you've made happy.

Tuesday, June 20 2006

10:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 41.8%, Average: 15.5%
10:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 6.1%, Average: 4.0%

QOTD:
The world really isn't any worse. It's just that the news coverage is so much better.

Monday, June 19 2006

9:45am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 18.1%, Average: 6.8%
9:45am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 5.4%, Average: 2.2%

QOTD:
Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered, one-hoss dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a short spell?"

Friday, June 16 2006

10:10am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 19.8%, Average: 11.5%
10:10am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 7.3%, Average: 2.9%

QOTD:
The secret of happiness is total disregard of everybody.

Thursday, June 15 2006

9:30am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 18.5%, Average: 10.5%
9:30am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.5%, Average: 3.6%

QOTD:
/* Halley */

Wednesday, June 14 2006

9:05am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 8.7%, Average: 14.1%
9:05am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 2.4%, Average: 3.3%

QOTD:
HELP!!!! I'm being held prisoner in /usr/games/lib!

Tuesday, June 13 2006

12:50pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 25.2%, Average: 14.4%
12:50pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.8%, Average: 3.4%

QOTD:
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

Monday, June 12 2006

10:15am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 25.9%, Average: 8.1%
10:15am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.0%, Average: 2.0%

QOTD:
Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.

Friday, June 9 2006

1:00pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 50.9%, Average: 17.9%
1:00pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.9%, Average: 3.1%

QOTD:
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".

Thursday, June 8 2006

9:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 17.3%, Average: 11.5%
9:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 3.5%, Average: 2.8%

QOTD:
THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #14 -- VALGOL

VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry. VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, and Y*KNOW. Variables are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators. Other operators include the "California booleans", AX and NOWAY. Loops are accomplished with the FOR SURE construct. A simple example:

LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
IF PIZZA =LIKE BITCHEN AND
GUY =LIKE TUBULAR AND
VALLEY GIRL =LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2
THEN
FOR I =LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
DO*WAH - (DITTY**2); BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
SURE
LIKE, BAG THIS PROGRAM; REALLY; LIKE TOTALLY(Y*KNOW); IM*SURE
GOTO THE MALL

VALGOL is also characterized by its unfriendly error messages. For example, when the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message GAG ME WITH A SPOON! A successful compile may be termed MAXIMALLY AWESOME!

Wednesday, June 7 2006

11:10am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 20.4%, Average: 10.1%
11:10am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 3.9%, Average: 2.8%

QOTD:
+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
+ /*
+ * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
+ * this makes the year come out right.
+ */
+ year -= 42;
+#endif

Tuesday, June 6 2006

12:50pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 22.2%, Average: 10.9%
12:50pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 5.3%, Average: 3.3%

QOTD:
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.

Monday, June 5 2006

11:25am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 22.9%, Average: 3.7%
11:25am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 15.8%, Average: 1.6%

QOTD:
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Friday, June 2 2006

10:20am Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 21.0%, Average: 9.7%
10:20am Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.6%, Average: 2.8%

QOTD:
(1) X=Y ; Given
(2) X^2=XY ; Multiply both sides by X
(3) X^2-Y^2=XY-Y^2 ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides
(4) (X+Y)(X-Y)=Y(X-Y) ; Factor
(5) X+Y=Y ; Cancel out (X-Y) term
(6) 2Y=Y ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1
(7) 2=1 ; Divide both sides by Y

Thursday, June 1 2006

12:05pm Current Inbound Bandwidth usage: 15.3%, Average: 10.8%
12:05pm Current Outbound Bandwidth usage: 4.8%, Average: 3.8%

QOTD:
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.