The cats' page
Our
original cats Poo and Scratchy were two-time winners of the "Cat
Lottery"; Diane and I adopted each other's cats when we got
married. Poo is below, looking like she owned the place,
which she pretty much did. We lost her on November 17, 2007 at the ripe
old age of 19. Poo was in all likelihood the world's
friendliest and happiest cat. She was beloved by all,
especially by Diane and me; Poo was the only living thing we've ever
known or heard of that achieved universal popularity. Poo is also one of the
most famous and best-remembered dead cats ever, having been the subject
of a lay homily at our church, and snuck onto the memorials
list at Christmas, Easter, and All Saints Day. She has also had
candles lit for her in churches in Ireland, England, Romania, Bulgaria,
and elsewhere. We love her and miss her so very, very much.
Godspeed, kitty.
Fans of "The Simpsons" will understand our Scratchy's admittedly-morbid
name. Unlike her much-abused namesake, however, our Scratchy has
a good life...lots of naps and plenty of (sometimes forced) affection.
(And even after that she's pretty darn grouchy and has earned a
lifetime ban from Northwest Airlines; Scratchy did get her ultimate
revenge, though, as the NWA brand no longer exists. Bastards.) For some
inexplicable reason, Scratchy really liked our kid Adelaide and has
demonstrated a Job-like patience for her nonsense. Scratchy passed on
May 8, 2015 at the age of 17. I think about her every day. She'll
always be my Mistress of Darkness.
Sisters
Bazooka (left) and Miss Chloe (right) were adopted from the Carroll Co.
Humane Society in June 2008. A more fitting name for Bazooka does not
exist, and no roll of toilet paper is safe if she is around. Chloe
enjoys watching TV--- especially shows with chyrons---and climbing
into the clothes hamper. Bazooka was without question the greatest cat in the history of cats, which is why when she left us on March 23, 2023 after a valiant battle with lymphoma, we lost the best member of the family. Since then, she's been tattooed on us, added to our church's All Saints Day list, and has had her memory kept alive in many, many other silly and serious ways. (For example, at the end of the typical church service where we
exclaim "Thanks be to God. Alleluia! Alleluia!, we replace 'Alleluia!' with 'Bazooka!') We love her and miss her terribly. Best cat ever.
George
joined us in September 2010 via a series of events that can only be
described as providence. George is blind, but for all intents and
purposes acts like a regular cat. In addition to being extremely outgoing and
friendly, George is a mighty hunter, routinely bringing us presents of socks he catches in our laundry basket.
We
adopted Thumper in the fall of 2011. Thumper had been dropped off at
our vet clinic after being struck by a car, an accident which
ultimately resulted in the loss of his right foreleg. Thumper made a
full recovery, although we think he might have some residual brain
damage because he is a hyperactive nut.
Below is Panda Bear, who joined us in
August 2012. Like George, Panda Bear is blind. In spite of that, Panda
Bear is the naughtiest cat ever. In addition to being the silly
meathead cat we seem to attract, Panda Bear is also very mouthy.
Daisy joined our family, minus a
foreleg, right before the Mid-Atlantic
blizzard of 2016. Daisy is an awfully nice, albeit sassy cat and, unusually for us,
has no major personally quirks. (She has plenty of minor personality
quirks, however. Look at her face; she's all eyes!) Even though
she is fully adapted to her tripod status, she still tends to tip over
when scratching herself.
Kaiju (left) and Poppy (right) arrived in August 2019, because adopting
two more cats was an absolutely horrible idea, so we had to do
it. Kaiju is actually sillier than he looks, if that is
possible. Poppy is yet another blind cat, but that doesn't stop
her from being completely annoying.